Hey there guys!!! I know it's been FOREVER since I've been on here, but I totally have legit reasons.
Okay, After my last rage filled conquest about that damn campus construction, we came dangerously close to finals time and I didn't want to risk ruining anything by being awesome and keeping up the blog. I know, I'm sorry. BUT!!!! I ended up passing all of my classes with good grades!!! :D That is very important. I'm too lazy to get a job, so I must keep good grades to keep my scholarship.
ANYWAY!
On to the story that will actually explain the title. I have many stories from this summer, but I will stick with this one for now.
Okay. So my my brother, his friend, and I decided to go on a hiking trip in the Smoky Mountains National park. This sounded like a great idea at the time, mind you. So we packed up supplies for six days worth of constant moving through these tiny, death trails on the side of mountains.
What I didn't know is that my brother's friend was bringing along his mom, and younger brother. His mom was in no shape to be hiking through mountains. And his younger brother is the whiniest little kid in the world! And he's not even a little kid!
He's like 13 or 14 and can't weigh more than 50 pounds. So, of course, they fell WAY behind. My brother and his friend went back to get them and ended up carrying both of their backpacks up to where we were and STILL made it to our stopping point before they did!
Granted, they are both going into the Marines soon and this was pretty much nothing to them, it was still very annoying.
This is what I imagined happening on this trip before those two showed up.
That's me in the center (of course), my brother on the right, and his friend on the left.
Of course, this is not what happened. All my illusions of grandeur came crashing down when these two fun sucking life forces showed up.
That's almost as round as she was and as annoying as he was. These two people are the worst people you can possibly imagine to have with you on a trip that is supposed to be fun.
Anywhozers....
Now that I know how obnoxious these two are, I told him they're not allowed to come on our man hikes. Man hikes are for men! And us apparently.
It was okay though, because those two went off and did their own things that kept them away from us long enough for us to actually enjoy it.
On this trip, we managed to see like 12 elk!! While we were hiking around, people would keep asking us if we had seen any elk. We would tell them that we had literally just passed a group of them, but they somehow never even saw one. I felt kinda bad for them. Not really, but it seemed like the nice thing to say.
Also on this trip!!!1!1!!! We saw black bears!!! Two black bear cubs came into our camp while we were cooking chili!!! I first spotted one of them sitting in the bushes. Hiding. Like a ninja.
He was just sitting there. Watching us cook our chili. Waiting for his chance to pounce on our unknowing bodies.
That's what I imagined at first, but I found out that loud noises scare them easily when they're cubs. I also found out that I have the superpower to clap EXTREMELY loud. It's like it couldn't be accessed before because my life was never in enough danger.
Not totally sure, but now I know I can do it, and I can activate the superpower at will.
As for the fire, here is the story. We got bored of chopping up logs for firewood, and so we just started throwing entire trees into our fire. We found one really wide log that had the middle of it hollowed out somehow. (Magic?)
So we had the smart idea of standing it upright on the fire. What could possibly go wrong?! :D
Little did we know, that we had just created a jet engine in the middle of the forest. It... was.... so... COOL!!!!!!!
It concentrated all the fire out of the little hole in the top, creating a tall, hot flame. We cooked our marshmallows for our smores almost instantly with that thing. It was the most epic campfire in history. True story.
Moral of the story: I am master of fire, I can hike like a motherfucking pro, I'm awesome, and I can tame bears with my mind.
Anywhozers....
Now that I know how obnoxious these two are, I told him they're not allowed to come on our man hikes. Man hikes are for men! And us apparently.
It was okay though, because those two went off and did their own things that kept them away from us long enough for us to actually enjoy it.
On this trip, we managed to see like 12 elk!! While we were hiking around, people would keep asking us if we had seen any elk. We would tell them that we had literally just passed a group of them, but they somehow never even saw one. I felt kinda bad for them. Not really, but it seemed like the nice thing to say.
Also on this trip!!!1!1!!! We saw black bears!!! Two black bear cubs came into our camp while we were cooking chili!!! I first spotted one of them sitting in the bushes. Hiding. Like a ninja.
That's what I imagined at first, but I found out that loud noises scare them easily when they're cubs. I also found out that I have the superpower to clap EXTREMELY loud. It's like it couldn't be accessed before because my life was never in enough danger.
Not totally sure, but now I know I can do it, and I can activate the superpower at will.
As for the fire, here is the story. We got bored of chopping up logs for firewood, and so we just started throwing entire trees into our fire. We found one really wide log that had the middle of it hollowed out somehow. (Magic?)
So we had the smart idea of standing it upright on the fire. What could possibly go wrong?! :D
Little did we know, that we had just created a jet engine in the middle of the forest. It... was.... so... COOL!!!!!!!
It concentrated all the fire out of the little hole in the top, creating a tall, hot flame. We cooked our marshmallows for our smores almost instantly with that thing. It was the most epic campfire in history. True story.
Moral of the story: I am master of fire, I can hike like a motherfucking pro, I'm awesome, and I can tame bears with my mind.
